Miss American Pie
Updated: Jan 13, 2022
There’s this thing. And no words, in any combination,
can explain it.
It exists only in its essence,
encompassing every sense known
and those not yet defined.
It is the brink of understanding,
the verge of breakthrough,
the answers without their questions.
It is soft, simple, and unfocused.
The deepest of truths,
the purest of knowledge.
It’s a forgotten memory,
a sparkle of curiosity.
It exists just out of reach,
on the tip of a tongue,
out of the corner of an eye.
A fragile presence,
a fleeting perception,
too fine to ever grasp.
Turn to see it and it vanishes forever.
For the moment it is noticed,
it has already disappeared.
I need to remember this...
[ABOVE TEXT]
"The trick is to never hope for something to happen.
Honestly, I find it funny that people do.
To want something to happen
is to want a specific set of events to take place at one point in time.
But just because the stars all aligned
and paralleled the script,
which formed in the wildest of dreams,
does not guarantee satisfaction or promise to meet expectations.
To hope for something to happen,
is to force the rest of the world towards it,
whether the actors feel their lines or not.
Rather, one should hope to feel a certain way.
For, this is completely independent of any mistakes or flaws,
as there are no ideal conditions, there is no perfect setting.
Be careful what you wish for.
And understand the source behind your requests.
It's not about what does or does not happen, but what you take from it.
A good feeling, those rare moments,
they are better than any event you can dream up.
Who knows. Life."
You cannot live in the magic while trying to define it.
It can't be molded into a concrete state.
But instead of asking for abundance
we beg for money, a bigger house, things.
Instead of requesting love,
we beg for a specific person to notice us.
And while we are looking in the wrong direction,
what we want, it passes right by us, unnoticed.
One of our greatest flaws is that we try to tie this essence to forms of matter.
We try to name it, explain it, limit it to the confines of language.
We that decide something,
some person in our life,
some change that occurred...
is responsible, for not only its emergence, but for its existence.
However, it is only ever moving around these things.
Holding onto the object or the description itself will not preserve its matching vibration.
And eventually, we will notice that it is no longer the same.
The coveted structure, now merely an empty vessel.
One that we still misguidedly thirst for.
The sleigh bells go silent. The music dies.
When we stop allowing the magic to flow freely through us, around us...
The hope, the inspiration, all of it, crashes.
Just because something ignites a spark within you,
doesn’t mean that it holds the flame.
Is that why a picture taken while inspired is different than one taken while bored?
Is that why a song can suddenly sound so crisp that it brings us to tears?
Is it just the re-emergence of that essence, projecting onto a different form this time?
--------
I wonder if it matters how far into the pattern I get, before my answer is proven incomplete.
Not wrong, just missing pieces.
I thought I was right there… so many times.
And perhaps I was. But I wasn’t aware of it.
Because instead of sticking to my belief in that question,
I assumed that I knew the answer.
I tied my belief into the matter and not the essence.
And because of that, it could no longer flow freely.
I let go of the magic, assuming that it was now mine.
Thinking I had conquered its mystery.
But it didn’t move with me.
The belief, it could only hold the particles for so long before they shifted.
And so somewhere, in a shedding of layers,
the object that I tied the magic to
changed its vibration.
Yet, I, trying to draw even the tiniest drop from it,
held tight to the structure that remained
even though the magic was no longer there.
But you can't get blood out of a stone.
It was the end of the innocence.
Still, the magic is always surrounding us. Appearing when we're not looking for it.
Time and time again.
Its essence reflecting off of things that are suddenly drenched in beauty.
...yet nothing gold can stay.
Whatever you believe, is.
And will always be,
...as long as you still believe it.
Do not put all of your belief into something temporary and material,
but instead into something timeless.
For it can never fade.
But you have to remember that it exists,
...or you will not be able to see it,
no matter what form it takes on.
You must simply trust that it is there,
without having any proof,
...or it will vanish.
It is not yours to have,
only to emanate.
And you cannot expect anything from it, other than what you are given.
[LOST VERSE OF 'AMERICAN PIE' - Don McLean]
"And there I stood alone and afraid. I dropped to my knees and there I prayed. And I promised him everything I could give,
If only he would make the music live.
He promised it would live once more. But this time one would equal four. And in five years, four had come to mourn
and the music was reborn"
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